I had cataract at the age of 71.
About six months ago I stop driving at night, because it was troublesome having to go through glaring sparkling lights, from either sides of the road. It is either from oncoming moving vehicles or from the streets lights. It was more hazardous when it rains. I was straining my eyes so hard to concentrate that I gave up.
At that time I was not aware of my real problems. I was blaming the motorcyclists for driving on the wrong side of the roads; dim and flickering streets lights and when I look up into the sky even the moon looks double. I was having difficulties controlling my car when approaching road dividers and curbs because it became vague and less visible. I have on several occasions, almost drove through it or onto it.
I did not realize the seriousness of my problem until I discovered that I no longer see the difference, between High Definition TV channels, that I have subscribed on ASTRO and the normal TVs. All looks, so blurry and faded.
I checked my eyes at the local optician twice in a span of two months and made two new pair of glasses. The first costs me rm400. About a month later I realized the glasses did not help me and I was not comfortable with the spectacles and found it more of a nuisance then improve my eyes.
When I mention this to my son he said that, probably I was not used to it and maybe I need to wear it more often. I was not satisfied with his remarks and went to another optician to have another pair of glasses made. It costs me an extra rm450.
The second optician advice me to go see an eye specialist, because he found ‘my eyes quite bad and a specialist attention is needed’, he casually said to me.
‘Maybe you are taking wrong medications, your eyes is really bad.’ he murmured. This prompted me to seek a second opinion.
By this time, my youngest son Nik Azan Shah Reza, was offered a job in Kuala Lumpur. The date of him leaving me alone was drawing closer and I am getting edgy and worried.
A check at the local hospital diagnosed me as having cataract. The doctor said both my eyes is affected and needs surgery to replace my old lens as it is quite ‘worn out’.
I was not sure what it was, until the doctor told me that due to the ‘wear and tear’ of time and old age, ‘both my lens needs replacements’ he said. Cataracts is when the lens become cloudy like a old dirty glass windows.
‘A surgery is needed to remove my old lens and replace it with artificial lens?’ I was not amused.
The doctor also advice me to get my eyes fix at a private eye specialist.
‘It will faster’ he said.
‘It may take months to get an appointment at the government hospitals’ he added.
He suggested that I go to a private eye specialist. He gave me the name of an optometrist or eye specialist in town and recommend that I see him.
Not knowing much about it, I was scared and worried. I made several ‘Google’ search for more information and asks friends and relatives about it. The very mention of surgery scared the daylight of me. I was scared of the possible risks and complications. But I do not have much choice. I was asking almost everyone that I met and almost everyone assures me that it is quite a simple operation and I need not worry too much.
The Quran is my daily therapy and I read it every morning and evening. It keeps my spirits alive and my mind at peace. I had no problem reading it for at least half an hour each time without the help of my reading glasses. I was not sure whether I should through with it since my problem was only driving and watching TV.
I went to see the specialist in Kubang Kerian as recommended and went through a series of tests and scans to my eyes. My youngest son accompanied me. The doctor was willing to do the surgery, as soon I am ready. I know it is going to be a very delicate surgery. We discussed the fees and briefly described the procedures.
He told me it is going to be a very simple operation and it will take less than an hour to remove the cataract, which is behind the pupil.
‘Modern medical technology has enable eye operation to be quite simple and safe’ he said. ‘It will involved a small incision into the cornea to break my old lens using laser equipments and then suction it out and then replacing it with a intra-ocular lens’ he explained.
I put a lot of thoughts into it. The risks, the costs, the healing time and all the restrictions that I have to deal with during the recovery period, made me more uncertain, uncomfortable and worried, but considering the possibilities of it getting worse made me opt for the operation.
I just hope and pray that I have made the right decision. I have made many wrong decisions before.
The eyes, is one of the most essential parts of one’s well -being. I was told that, as we age the Cataract may gets worse and at my age which is 71, I am already in my twilight years and the chance of my cataract getting worse, is so real.
I was determined to go through it, because ‘I needed to drive at night. I have to be independent’ I told myself.
It has always my ardent hope that I will never be a burden to my children or myself. With the money I saved I want to live a comfortable life. I cannot bring my wealth to the grave and I always believe that Health is wealth.
My friends advised me to have it done in Kuala Lumpur (KL) because there will be a recovery period, of between 2 weeks to two months where I have to avoid certain strenuous or rigorous activities, which can cause undue pressure to the eyes.
My son is at home with me in Kota Bharu, the last two months. He has just completed his studies at a University in KL and is now excitedly waiting for his convocations in October.
He had been my only confidence and chauffeuring me around. But as the days drew nearer to 18th of July, I was getting more nervous and worried, lest anything should happen to me and I need to drive at night. Would I be able to abstain myself from driving at night?
Would I be in a position to drive myself in case of emergencies or should I need to see my potential clients at Kenari villa during the nights? Surely, I cannot miss my potential clients, because I cannot drive at night. That would be a wasted opportunities or an opportunity costs.
So, I decided to go ahead with the surgery, regardless of the uncertainty and fears. I would have to dispel my fears and face up to the reality of life and times. I have gone through a tooth implant before, to fix my loose teeth. That implant had cost me more than rm6000. I was quite happy with the result. I am sure I can take another implant.
I was also experiencing some floating sensations, when waking up in the middle of the night to do my nightly prayers. I cannot focus where I was going and was groping in the dark. I was scared that, I could fall and hurt myself.
My worst fear is that nobody will know what happen to me should I hurt myself in any mishaps. None of my children are with me. Most of my neighbors keep to themselves and not at home most of the time.
I was worried- thinking of the possibilities of injuring myself and there was no one to call for help.
My heart is yearning to be with my children here in KL. I have to admit that sometimes I wonder whether I have made the right decision moving back to KB in the late 90’s and investing in ‘Kenari Villa Guesthouse’.
Moving back to KL would not be easy. Lot of things needs to be considered. I am not as strong as before. I need somebody with me for company, but I do not want to burden any of my children. They have their own family to take care and I do not want to be a permanent structure in their homes.
Only my youngest son is not married. But he needs his own space and I cannot be tagging with him as much as I want to be.
I came to KL on th 18th of July 2011, and almost immediately went to the Tun Hussein Onn National eye Hospital THONEH for consultations. I also brought along two letters of reference from the Government General Hospital and an eye specialist in Kota Bharu.
I was immediately referred to one of the available doctors on call. A young doctor by the name of Dr.Azhar bin Zainuddin met us and explain to us the operation procedures briefly. My eldest daughter accompanied all the way.
I have already made my mind before coming to KL and I was ready and I told him so. So without much discussion I was given the earliest date possible.
My eldest daughter is the only one who is not working. But she is not ‘a lady of leasure’. She is busy taking care of her children, sending them to and from school. I felt I will be burdening her so much, but do I have a choice?
The surgery went as scheduled and my right eye was operated by Dr.Azhar at about 4.00p.m on Thursday 21st of July 2011. I had paid more than rm3500 for the implant and the various hospital charges. I was discharged the next day. My left eye was operated eleven days later. Another rm3500 was whisked out of my bank account.
I am recovering now, but it will never be the same. I am old and not as strong as before. I thank Allah for all the blessings and hope I can get back to my old ways of reading and reciting the Holy Al-Quran day and night.
Reminiscence
When I was young, I was energetic; strong and independent. I am always up and about and driving from one end of KL to another looking for good bargains and quality food for my family. I only give the best for my family.
My sons’ favorite dish is beef and so I will find the best place, to get the best fresh beef.
I would drive to Chow Kit market, in the city centre; PJ Old town in Jalan Othman, sometimes as far as Dato Keramat market to get it.
On most Saturdays, I would drive to Jalan Ipoh weekly market, situated just behind the old Tabung Haji building, where fresh farm produce are sold. Here everything is fresh and cheap. I would go very early, and made a beeline for the best cut of beef. My favorite is the sirloin, which is very tender and sweet. I would normally place an advance order with the supplier and get one whole week supplies of beef from him.
On reaching home I would cut it into 14 equal parts and place them in plastic containers and freeze them. Every morning I will take one container for defrosting and cook them. My three sons love peppered salted fried beef. I cook fried beef everyday. Cooking for them was easy.
1 comment:
datin , love u, u are a strong lady, ur post are all very interesting, yes, your real life
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