I have not updated my blog for the past 2 months due to some unsettled problems in my life. I am afraid if I write in my blog I would be very emotional and blow up the problem out of proportion.

So I decided to let things cool down a little before I attempt to express my feelings.

I realised that at this age I shouldn't be too sensitive over petty things like not being able to go window shopping on my own, cos my legs got tired easily and the floor felt uneven and I felt like falling over when walking alone.

I felt useless cos I cannot carry heavyloads in my hands anymore. I need somebody to help me carry my stuff to the car. I cannot enjoy gardening anymore cos I can't even swing the changkul to break the earth.

All these little things is getting into my head and I felt very depressed.

Added to all my health problem, I am also mentally disturbed by events affecting my eldest daughter and her children. I have been close to her and her children and anything that she has to go through in her marriage is also affecting me in a very big way.